Unconditionally..... Daisey Mae
I never knew how hard it is to breath or how big she expanded my heart until I found it empty and cavernous without her by my side.... She brought us joy, laughter, comfort, wisdom, and Unconditional Love to last our lifetime.
“Daisey Mae” - a name we gave to our cute puppy with big clumsy paws and long beautiful legs that she never quite grew into, but boy did she grow into our family and our hearts. We lost Daisey Mae unexpectedly and even in her last minutes she found the strength to lift her head and kiss my tears away. Was she telling me it was ok, was she comforting me, was she asking for my permission to go, or was she just using her last strength to give love unconditionally… I believe all of it was conveyed in one gentle kiss and one look into those deep soulful eyes.
After spending months in mourning, endless hours of reflection and tears flowing into sleepless nights along with days of judgement and anger, I have stopped spinning and the world is not a blur. As I stand still without her, it still hurts, but I have hopefully broken through to the other side; the side of “healing and living” as our time together is not lost, but changed. I am finally able to find comfort from the caring love family, friends, and even strangers gave me. I am able to feel again, after all, isn’t that what we are meant to do. I guess my question now is how can I give back in a manner that comforts and loves others as Daisey Mae gave to us.
How can I live unconditionally, ask for permission unconditionally, tell other’s it’s ok unconditionally, and give love and acceptance unconditionally? The best answer I can have faith in is to be at peace with myself and all that I have and do not have (the good and the bad). To accept people and circumstances as they are in that moment. Most of us have heard the phrases “live in our moment”, “be where our feet are”, “it’s not what happens to you but how you react” but being a complex human with complex feelings, thoughts, and dreams, it is rather, well no other way to say it, it’s complicated to do so.
I am in NO WAY suggesting we change our feelings, thoughts and dreams or the complexity which compels us to sometimes love the wrong person, think outside of the box, or find ourselves driven to achieve our dreams, this complexity is also what makes us amazingly human. What I am asking is that we take a moment to be just a little like Daisey Mae and be Unconditional in our love, acceptance, and understanding. Rather than judge, listen; rather than hide from the uncomfortable, realize what good you can make of it; and rather than self-destruct, take a moment to reflect and appreciate how much you have grown. I believe that in living just a little more unconditionally we may ultimately create a greater peace.
So today, my loss is accompanied with acceptance. I do not, nor am I supposed to, understand the greater picture, I unconditionally accept it. Today I am grateful and full from the unconditional understanding and support I received from family, friends and strangers; thank you for showing me love and kindness, I will pay it forward every opportunity I have.
When grieving, I believe it is important to feel your sadness, cry your tears, and even get angry, but just as importantly, not to stay there. Get back up, let life warm you, and shine it back to others. It is good to be in a place where I can smile at the memories and let them warm my soul, just as she did while we were together.
May Daisey Mae’s Rainbow Bridge take her to places of endless fields, warm fireplaces, ice-cream, and tender belly rubs. Until we meet again Daisey Mae, I love you and thank you for all the Unconditional you gave. Rest peacefully my sweet girl.
